Noticing
I took our dog Maverick on a walk today at a nature park about 15 minutes from our home. It was his inaugural ride in my new Murano so I made sure to cover the back floor with a sheet to limit the amount of hair I would have to clean up later (most likely much later).
The trail was just over 2 miles, not too long, I didn’t want to take up my whole morning, just wanted to get out someplace different, out in nature. We started out on the walk, the air was cool but moist, sky was overcast and there was a slight breeze—perfect Sunday morning excursion. As I leashed Mav up and he jumped out of the car, a couple jaunted off on the trail just ahead of us. I had Mav’s prong collar on—a 94-pound German Shepherd requires some power steering—but he was still pulling like he was in a race—he would have made a great sled dog. I’m not sure if it was the couple in front of us, just far enough ahead that he could see their backside before they jutted around a bend, or the excitement of his new surroundings that made him extra enthusiastic, but I became annoyed at his continued pulling into the collar.
I could have stayed perturbed at the situation, continually drawing Mav back and chiding him for his eagerness. But I didn’t want to be annoyed this morning—I just wanted to let go and walk, get the blood moving a bit. So I let go. I let go of MY need to not be pulled, MY desire to amble through the woods, MY need to take it slow and just be, because obviously all that was not going to happen today. My choices were to continue to scold Mav for his over-excitement—guaranteeing my agitation of the morning—or go along with the moment, let him lean into the collar and let go of the identity I wanted to have at the moment.
When I let go of my wants, my idea of how things should be happening, I was able to enjoy the woods, listen to the birds (above Mav’s panting, of course), relax into the walk and be at ease. I let go of my annoyance, my desires, my preconceived notions of what the morning should look like and let it unfold. Mickey Singer would be proud.
